someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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