I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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