He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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