And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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