she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
