just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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