I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
