thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
