ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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