Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize