Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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