my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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