I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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