Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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