Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
