Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
