I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
