So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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