I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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