You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
