i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
