porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
