I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
