If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
