so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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