You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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