don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
