i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
