how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
