well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
