wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
