One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
