Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
