SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
