I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Randomize
