is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize