I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
