and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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