dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
