No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
