You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize