Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
