oh god the rape fog is back!
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
