also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize