Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
