is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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