May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
from now on my penis is your penis
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
