You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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