no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
