My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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