Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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