I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
