And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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