I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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