Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize