GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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