Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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