I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
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