she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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