Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
