I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
