god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
