My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
