I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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