dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
