Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
