So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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