peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
