4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
